Wednesday, January 25, 2012
PUNCH, PUNCH, JAB, KICK, PUNCH
That's how I feel today. I feel like a helpless mother. Lillian had to have an ultrasound on her hip because she was breached. Her left hip has mild muscle dysplasia. This means that her hip, when there is applied force (aka any movement), could come out of socket easily. The pediatricians office told me that "it is VERY important that we see a pediatric orthopedist right away, something bad developmentally could happen, yadda yadda."
When Lillian had trouble with gaining weight in the beginning, the Pediatrician told us that we HAD to come back for a weight check 3 days later (which would be right during our break at home) and I believed it...then I called and cancelled because I was NOT able to stay in Cville and had to go home.
Please know, this is MY blog and I am venting and I know that Lillian will be okay, but I feel helpless...although I am doing something by setting up the Orthapedic appointment...anyways...
I have felt like such a bad mom because I question the Pediatrician...and honestly, I AM THE MOTHER. I know what is best for my daughter because she is my pretty baby! I have maternal instincts and I know how to care for my child...I feel like I am 'bullied" in to doing things. People, I worked at an ONCOLOGY OFFICE...I know what it means to see the "walking dead." This is not a matter of life or death and I do not need to be bullied. We never "bullied" patients, we used compassion! I am feeling a lack of compassion and my find a new pediatrician. I just want to see a bit more compassion used and not so much "making me feel bad." Andddd, I am running on a little sleep every single day.
I will be attending a 30-20-10 class (30 min cardio, 20 min toning, and 10 min stretching) tonight to get some of this feeling of inadequacy off. I am going to do extra forceful kickbox punching in class. I would like to note, I could NOT do this whole parenthood thing without Ryan. He is so helpful...and without helpful friends and family who listen and help me.