Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Ughhhhh asdklj;cvn;lken;alkna;d,nac;andklgvnas;nae,rnma,dmn

That's how I feel today. I feel like a helpless mother. Lillian had to have an ultrasound on her hip because she was breached. Her left hip has mild muscle dysplasia. This means that her hip, when there is applied force (aka any movement), could come out of socket easily. The pediatricians office told me that "it is VERY important that we see a pediatric orthopedist right away, something bad developmentally could happen, yadda yadda."

When Lillian had trouble with gaining weight in the beginning, the Pediatrician told us that we HAD to come back for a weight check 3 days later (which would be right during our break at home) and I believed it...then I called and cancelled because I was NOT able to stay in Cville and had to go home.

Please know, this is MY blog and I am venting and I know that Lillian will be okay, but I feel helpless...although I am doing something by setting up the Orthapedic appointment...anyways...

I have felt like such a bad mom because I question the Pediatrician...and honestly, I AM THE MOTHER. I know what is best for my daughter because she is my pretty baby! I have maternal instincts and I know how to care for my child...I feel like I am 'bullied" in to doing things. People, I worked at an ONCOLOGY OFFICE...I know what it means to see the "walking dead." This is not a matter of life or death and I do not need to be bullied. We never "bullied" patients, we used compassion! I am feeling a lack of compassion and my find a new pediatrician. I just want to see a bit more compassion used and not so much "making me feel bad." Andddd, I am running on a little sleep every single day.

I will be attending a 30-20-10 class (30 min cardio, 20 min toning, and 10 min stretching) tonight to get some of this feeling of inadequacy off. I am going to do extra forceful kickbox punching in class. I would like to note, I could NOT do this whole parenthood thing without Ryan. He is so helpful...and without helpful friends and family who listen and help me.


Lynette said...

Oh Dara! I am sorry! I feel the same way about Doctors... I feel like teachers its hard to find good ones. I think you are doing awesome. I know you already have made a lot of sacrifices for Lillian and will continue to do so. Love you!

Ali said...

LOVE YOU. keep on keepin on!

Cami said...

You are awesome. Love you!

Laura said...

You should definitely switch - a good pediatrician won't make you feel that way! I switched 3 times (the first one because I hated him for a similar reason, the second time because I still didn't feel like he was the right fit either- you just KNOW) before I found the one I now love. You'll just know when it's the right match for you and your baby, because like you said- it's YOUR baby and you know best. I think its good you're still having her looked at but they certainly shouldn't have "bullied" you into it. I hope she's doing ok and that you had a great time working out the aggression!

Caitlin said...

Dara, I'm sorry! it's so hard to find a good pediatrician! I'll keep you and Lillian in our prayers!

Music we love

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones